Hilltop Community Church of Christ

THREE MARKS OF REAL LOVE

1.      LOVE IS NOT RUDE.

Name the negative action mentioned in Proverbs 18:13.

• What does this type of behavior say about the person doing it?   

We see it everywhere today—especially on television. What does Paul tell us in Ephesians 4:31–32 to stop doing, and why?

• How does experiencing the forgiveness of Christ enable us to let go of anger and bitterness toward those who are rude   to us?
• Realistically, how can we be kind to people who are rude or unkind to us?

Read Proverbs 16:21. What kinds of words characterize a wise and persuasive person?

• We are never persuasive when we are abrasive. Give an example of a time when someone said something abrasive to you. How did their abrasiveness affect your ability to really hear the person? How could they have said it differently?
• The way we say something affects the way it is received. What body language and tone of voice communicate tact? What else can we do to make sure we are speaking truth with tact and with love?

Growing—It takes effort, practice, and time to grow in our ability to be tactful. How can we learn the fine difference between bluntness and diplomacy? Share some ideas for how we can stop interrupting others or keep from taking our bad day out on  other people.

2.      LOVE DOES NOT DEMAND ITS OWN WAY.

According to Philippians 2:5–7, whose attitude should characterize our lives as believers? Describe that attitude.

• If anybody had a right to demand people’s respect, it was God on earth, Jesus. Why did he not demand honor from those around him?
• When Jesus arrived on the scene, he was not what the Jews expected. Instead of a conquering king coming to save them from the Romans, they had a humble servant-leader speaking of love. Take a moment to discuss the difference between a peaceful message and one sent to intimidate.

How should our spoken language distinguish us as believers? Read Titus 3:2.

• How do kind words show us to be followers of Christ?
• Discuss ideas on how simple courtesy can lead new people to a faith in Jesus.

Describe the general rule, often called the Golden Rule, for relational behavior as written in Luke 6:31.

• Share examples of people in your personal life or in history who exemplify this idea.
• Take a few moments to discuss why this simply-worded commandment is so difficult to live out.

Connecting—Even in ministry, it is easy to place unreasonable demands upon the service of others. When we choose to be understanding rather than demanding, how is the message of Christ furthered within the body? Give some examples of being flexible when it comes to other people’s needs in a situation at home, at work and, if applicable, in a ministry.

LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS.

Why do you think God asks us to forgive and forget offenses in Mark 11:25?

• What is it in us that makes this choice so difficult?
• Who needs the forgiveness most—the forgiver or the forgiven? Explain your answer.

How does Proverbs 10:12 describe the power of love?

• Share a time you witnessed or were affected by the quarrels, division, or strife stirred up by hatred.
• More than one translation of Proverbs 10:12 uses the phrase “love covers” wrongs or offenses. What do you think is meant by the word “covers”?

What does Proverbs 19:11 say about ignoring a wrong?

• What is the value of ignoring a wrong? Why is this a difficult thing to do?
• We fail to overlook wrongs when we gossip about them or bring them up again. What happens when we do that?

According to Job 18:4, who does anger hurt?

• Discuss the way you feel after you’ve been angry for a long while.
• Share a few examples of historical or modern situations where anger only hurts the one who’s angry.